good sermon...
Last Sunday I heard one of those messages that I really needed to hear. It seems like sometimes there are just some teachings that strike a chord, you know? This one made me squirm, tear up, and feel conviction like I haven't felt for awhile.
Our pastor was actually out on a retreat, and Bill, one of our elders exhorted us.
His topic: bitterness.
He started out by posing thoughts like these:
If you had an imaginary conversation to "put them in their place..." You may be bitter.
If "we don't get along" are words associated with a relationship... You may be bitter.
If you're thinking of retaliation rather than reconciliation...You may be bitter.
If you forgive only when someone asks you for forgiveness...You may be bitter.
If you review offenses over and over in your mind...You may be bitter.
If you have someone, "you're not speaking to..." You may be bitter.
If there is someone you just can't forgive...You may be bitter.
If, when someone asks you for forgiveness, you think, "It's not that easy..." You may be bitter.
If you say, I'm not bitter, I'm just deeply hurt..." You may be bitter.
Some of those really hit home for me. I am commanded in Ephesians 4:31 to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice." And yet, there I sat, stubbornly holding onto bitterness and anger. Bill stated that bitterness is a tricky sin, and I agree! It often seems like it is caused by someone else's sin and so I feel justified in feeling the way I do. So, the next part of his teaching focused on understanding what bitterness truly is:
He used the passage in Heb 12:15 that talks about how bitterness is a root. It's hidden, difficult to remove, it spreads and it bears fruit of its kind. It’s a sin.
Two good verses on bitterness: Acts 8:23 and James 3:14-15.
Next point: The Bible does not give me the right to be bitter:
--I may think I have the right
--The world may say I have the right
--I don't have the right
Next point: Bitterness Has Consequences:
Bitterness that’s shared:
-“Defiles many”
-Takes up the offenses of others
-Spreads virally
-Infects the church with gross evil
Bitterness that’s not shared
-Eats away at you
-Affects you emotionally, psychologically, even physically
-Produces illness
-Leads to other problems
-Slander
-Self-pity
-Vindictiveness/Revenge
-Unforgiving spirit
-Factions
-Funk
He talked about how we will often say, "I'm hurt" rather than, "I'm bitter". But, his point was that hurt turns into resentment which turns into bitterness. Another zinger, "Proud people stay bitter." Ouch!
He talked about how we can come to like being bitter. We enjoy holding things against others and it can become a way of life.
Next point: Getting Rid of Bitterness.
-Bitterness remembers details. "If you have sharp memory of offenses or hurts from long ago, you've been reviewing and you're likely to be bitter."
The first step is to acknowledge the truth.
1 John 3:23 and 1 Cor 13: 7 address love. If I'm bitter toward someone, I'm not loving unconditionally, and I'm therefore in sin. I am disobeying a command that God has given. Man, that's hard to swallow!
Mt 18:32-35 and Mt 6:12-15 both address forgiveness. It's a command also. If I'm bitter, I'm not walking in forgiveness and once again, I'm in sin.
It’s easy for me to talk about how someone wronged me, and use that hurt as an excuse to be bitter, but that does not negate the fact that I'm in sin. A good point he made: "If forgiveness does not already fill your heart before they ask for forgiveness, will you really forgive them from the heart when they ask?" And:" Does God require a strict confession of every sin we commit (that we might not even be aware of) before He has forgiveness for us?" Wow!
He did address the command in Gal 6:1 where we are called to restore a brother who is caught in a trespass. It states that "those who are spiritual" are to be the ones doing the restoring. His point: If I have responded in anger and bitterness to someone and didn't respond in unconditional love and unilateral forgiveness, then I'm showing my spiritual immaturity and do not qualify to be the restorer.
“Bitterness is the sin that disqualifies most would-be restorers.”
-I must recognize that it's my problem
-I must realize that bitterness is a sin that stands alone and that I need to make it right with God.
-I need to realize that bitterness doesn't go away when someone else confesses.
-Bitterness will stay until I deal with it.
-It is a sin against God that affects me and others.
I need to accept the grace that God offers to me and humbly seek his help to get rid of the bitterness inside. It may take confession again and again, and it will probably come back. But, each time, I need to confess it and get my heart right with God.
In case you're wondering, I didn't take incredible notes:-) Bill’s power point slides can be found here: http://www.brbible.org/
What really hit home for me, was when he talked about how bitterness is our choice and ultimately our sin. It really doesn’t matter if I've been hurt by someone, or if I've perceived a hurt; the bitterness felt is my sin. Ouch! So often I will blame my bad attitude, funk, gossip, or just plain mean spirit on someone else. "They did thus and so. They appeared to act this way towards me. They were mean, “ etc. I just really needed to be reminded that this is my sin, my issue and God wants to deal with me.
I remember my mom telling me about a lady who would, when someone said something mean about her, or did something unkind, would say, "we'll just pretend that didn't happen." What an attitude. She chose to forgive the sin then and there. She didn't dwell on it; share it with her friends, and allow her heart to become full of anger toward anyone. She just forgave right then. That's how I want to be!
This same elder who preached Sunday, was one of the first people to challenge me personally to search out unconditional love. There were some issues a few years ago that I was working through, and his exhortation then was to study 1 Corinthians 13, and really work at learning what Christ's love and the love He wants me to have truly looks like. That was huge in my life then. I'm just thankful for the reminder that God gave me Sunday. I've been falling back into some old habits and I needed Him to speak to me.
I'm sorry this is sooo long! Feel free to visit the site listed above for even more detailed information. Good stuff!:)
~Julie
Our pastor was actually out on a retreat, and Bill, one of our elders exhorted us.
His topic: bitterness.
He started out by posing thoughts like these:
If you had an imaginary conversation to "put them in their place..." You may be bitter.
If "we don't get along" are words associated with a relationship... You may be bitter.
If you're thinking of retaliation rather than reconciliation...You may be bitter.
If you forgive only when someone asks you for forgiveness...You may be bitter.
If you review offenses over and over in your mind...You may be bitter.
If you have someone, "you're not speaking to..." You may be bitter.
If there is someone you just can't forgive...You may be bitter.
If, when someone asks you for forgiveness, you think, "It's not that easy..." You may be bitter.
If you say, I'm not bitter, I'm just deeply hurt..." You may be bitter.
Some of those really hit home for me. I am commanded in Ephesians 4:31 to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice." And yet, there I sat, stubbornly holding onto bitterness and anger. Bill stated that bitterness is a tricky sin, and I agree! It often seems like it is caused by someone else's sin and so I feel justified in feeling the way I do. So, the next part of his teaching focused on understanding what bitterness truly is:
He used the passage in Heb 12:15 that talks about how bitterness is a root. It's hidden, difficult to remove, it spreads and it bears fruit of its kind. It’s a sin.
Two good verses on bitterness: Acts 8:23 and James 3:14-15.
Next point: The Bible does not give me the right to be bitter:
--I may think I have the right
--The world may say I have the right
--I don't have the right
Next point: Bitterness Has Consequences:
Bitterness that’s shared:
-“Defiles many”
-Takes up the offenses of others
-Spreads virally
-Infects the church with gross evil
Bitterness that’s not shared
-Eats away at you
-Affects you emotionally, psychologically, even physically
-Produces illness
-Leads to other problems
-Slander
-Self-pity
-Vindictiveness/Revenge
-Unforgiving spirit
-Factions
-Funk
He talked about how we will often say, "I'm hurt" rather than, "I'm bitter". But, his point was that hurt turns into resentment which turns into bitterness. Another zinger, "Proud people stay bitter." Ouch!
He talked about how we can come to like being bitter. We enjoy holding things against others and it can become a way of life.
Next point: Getting Rid of Bitterness.
-Bitterness remembers details. "If you have sharp memory of offenses or hurts from long ago, you've been reviewing and you're likely to be bitter."
The first step is to acknowledge the truth.
1 John 3:23 and 1 Cor 13: 7 address love. If I'm bitter toward someone, I'm not loving unconditionally, and I'm therefore in sin. I am disobeying a command that God has given. Man, that's hard to swallow!
Mt 18:32-35 and Mt 6:12-15 both address forgiveness. It's a command also. If I'm bitter, I'm not walking in forgiveness and once again, I'm in sin.
It’s easy for me to talk about how someone wronged me, and use that hurt as an excuse to be bitter, but that does not negate the fact that I'm in sin. A good point he made: "If forgiveness does not already fill your heart before they ask for forgiveness, will you really forgive them from the heart when they ask?" And:" Does God require a strict confession of every sin we commit (that we might not even be aware of) before He has forgiveness for us?" Wow!
He did address the command in Gal 6:1 where we are called to restore a brother who is caught in a trespass. It states that "those who are spiritual" are to be the ones doing the restoring. His point: If I have responded in anger and bitterness to someone and didn't respond in unconditional love and unilateral forgiveness, then I'm showing my spiritual immaturity and do not qualify to be the restorer.
“Bitterness is the sin that disqualifies most would-be restorers.”
-I must recognize that it's my problem
-I must realize that bitterness is a sin that stands alone and that I need to make it right with God.
-I need to realize that bitterness doesn't go away when someone else confesses.
-Bitterness will stay until I deal with it.
-It is a sin against God that affects me and others.
I need to accept the grace that God offers to me and humbly seek his help to get rid of the bitterness inside. It may take confession again and again, and it will probably come back. But, each time, I need to confess it and get my heart right with God.
In case you're wondering, I didn't take incredible notes:-) Bill’s power point slides can be found here: http://www.brbible.org/
What really hit home for me, was when he talked about how bitterness is our choice and ultimately our sin. It really doesn’t matter if I've been hurt by someone, or if I've perceived a hurt; the bitterness felt is my sin. Ouch! So often I will blame my bad attitude, funk, gossip, or just plain mean spirit on someone else. "They did thus and so. They appeared to act this way towards me. They were mean, “ etc. I just really needed to be reminded that this is my sin, my issue and God wants to deal with me.
I remember my mom telling me about a lady who would, when someone said something mean about her, or did something unkind, would say, "we'll just pretend that didn't happen." What an attitude. She chose to forgive the sin then and there. She didn't dwell on it; share it with her friends, and allow her heart to become full of anger toward anyone. She just forgave right then. That's how I want to be!
This same elder who preached Sunday, was one of the first people to challenge me personally to search out unconditional love. There were some issues a few years ago that I was working through, and his exhortation then was to study 1 Corinthians 13, and really work at learning what Christ's love and the love He wants me to have truly looks like. That was huge in my life then. I'm just thankful for the reminder that God gave me Sunday. I've been falling back into some old habits and I needed Him to speak to me.
I'm sorry this is sooo long! Feel free to visit the site listed above for even more detailed information. Good stuff!:)
~Julie
posted by Pete and Julie at
5:01 PM
|
4 comments
